Washington, D.C.’s most beloved cherry blossom trees are in danger. A wild and ravenous creature is creeping through the tidal basin, felling trees and leaving death and destruction in its wake.

Beaver alert!!

Some of you may remember the Great Beaver Controversy of 1999, when an enterprising young beaver sought to build a dam across the tidal basin, with the unfortunate building material choice of D.C.’s beloved cherry trees.

Get ready for some more Buggs Bunny vs. Elmer Fudd-esque escapades, as the National Park Service tries to protect the trees from the ever-elusive tree-chomping animals.

The beavers are back.

I noticed on my lunchtime run that park service personnel had put mesh guards around a lot of the cherry trees — a suspicious sign. I asked one of the park rangers, “What is going on?”

Park ranger: Beaver control.

Me: Oh no, really!?

Park ranger: They’re back.

Me: Have they been chomping on the trees?

Park ranger: We’ve lost half-a-dozen trees already.

I know the beaver is just trying to do what beavers do … but this is an enemy invasion. Guard your cherry trees.

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