Speechless

Dear faithful reader,

Perhaps you have wondered why I have been absent from the blogosphere for lo these many days. Well, I have been camped out beneath a small bit of tarp at the tidal basin, here in our nation’s capital. Holding a cherry blossom branch in one hand and a flashlight in the other, I have searched for the wild beaver who has attacked our precious cherry trees.

But to no avail.

The wily beaver has remained elusive. Meanwhile, the weather has deteriorated, my shoes are soggy, my skin is covered with a thin layer of blossom residue, and I have grown weary of taking pictures of Japanese tourists. Plus, I am supposed to host a dinner party this weekend for betrothed friends, and they are vegetarians and thus would not consume the beaver steaks. So, I’m going in.

I will post more. You see, I have been a bit crippled. I felt the need to post first about our Easter, but the magnanimity of the resurrection and ensuing events have just been a bit much for me to put into words … especially with the lack of sleep since I’ve been on the beaver trail, you know. So I just haven’t said anything. But I know you deserve more, oh faithful readers. You have demanded bloggies, and you shall have them. I will not abandon you.

But first, I must wash the mud and blossom petals out of my hair.

faithfully yours,

blogface2008

 

Cherry blossom danger

Washington, D.C.’s most beloved cherry blossom trees are in danger. A wild and ravenous creature is creeping through the tidal basin, felling trees and leaving death and destruction in its wake.

Beaver alert!!

Some of you may remember the Great Beaver Controversy of 1999, when an enterprising young beaver sought to build a dam across the tidal basin, with the unfortunate building material choice of D.C.’s beloved cherry trees.

Get ready for some more Buggs Bunny vs. Elmer Fudd-esque escapades, as the National Park Service tries to protect the trees from the ever-elusive tree-chomping animals.

The beavers are back.

I noticed on my lunchtime run that park service personnel had put mesh guards around a lot of the cherry trees — a suspicious sign. I asked one of the park rangers, “What is going on?”

Park ranger: Beaver control.

Me: Oh no, really!?

Park ranger: They’re back.

Me: Have they been chomping on the trees?

Park ranger: We’ve lost half-a-dozen trees already.

I know the beaver is just trying to do what beavers do … but this is an enemy invasion. Guard your cherry trees.